i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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