...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
