We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
