you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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