Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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