Me too!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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