You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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