I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
