i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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