All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
