I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
