I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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