i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
