The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
