I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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