drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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