I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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