8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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