A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
50% drunk capacity currently
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
