NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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