Sponge bath it is.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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