I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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