i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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