I'm really into asian looking animals
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My vagina is officially offended.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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