And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This is classic penis vs brain.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
