im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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