Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
