He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
