Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize