Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
