I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am available for nakedness
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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