umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
