i just google imaged poop.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
