Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
is it fun? or sober?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
