Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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