Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
nutella sex= disaster
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
