Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
