I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
