I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
