how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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