Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
