the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
