well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
