I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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