I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
