Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
