Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
smell my finger.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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