seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
