mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
