He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
